Service men and women have risked and sacrificed their lives to secure freedom—today and yesterday. They all willingly accepted death as a possible price.
Duty drove some military members to grudgingly accept silence and deception. Once staying in the camouflage closet was the only option. Now, silence is no longer necessary.
The 1993 “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy replaced that reality—until midnight Tuesday. Now, all American warriors are free to be themselves, including Randy Phillips, 21, of Alabama.
On the eve of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”’s demise, Phillips finally came out to his father,phoning home from Germany. Like most recent history, personal or otherwise, the moment was captured and shared on YouTube.
It was one was among many moments, which Phillips—known only as AreYouSurprised—chronicled on the journey toward DADT repeal.
Seeing him fumble with the phone and look on his face reminded me of preparing to emerge from the closet. Lucille Harrington, the great-grandmother who raised me, was all I thought about. Would she still love me tomorrow?
Apparently, Phillips and I have two things in common. Being shunned by loved ones was a fate worse than death. Actually, all members of the GLBT community share that trait. Refusing to admit that doesn’t the reality.
“Hey, can I tell you something?” Phillips said. “Will you love me, period? You'll always love me?”
After assurances from his father, he charges forward: “Dad, I'm gay.”
“Like always have been. I've known since forever. And I haven't seen you in like a year and I don’t know when’s the next time I would be able to see you. I didn’t want to do it over the phone. I wanted to tell you in person, but uh... I didn't want you to find out in any other way,” he says.
“OK,” Dad responds. “I still love you son... It doesn't change our relationship, you hear me?”
“I am very proud of you,” Dad said.
However, he expresses one concern; given that Phillips’ is in Deutschland—home of Oktoberfest.
“Watch the drinkin’!” he said.
Witnessing the touching moment was powerful on more than one level. Phillips got a happy ending. (Get your mind out of the gutter.
) So, many gay people aren’t as lucky as he and I were.I had to come out to my then 85-year-old great-grandma twice. She didn’t quite get the concept initially. That probably had something do with how I explained it. The second time, Grandma launched into a “Was it something I did?” speech.
But everything changed on Mother’s Day 2004. For whatever reason, her children (my grandfather and aunt) didn’t have time for her.
So, my partner and I invited Grandma to dinner. The ride from her apartment in my 1994 Ford Ranger pickup was quiet. She enjoyed the dinner and, particularly, watching my partner and me playfully do dishes. I caught her staring—with a smile.
Our relationship blossomed, in spite of her eventual Alzheimer’s Disease diagnosis. We would always be her boys. I’m so thankful for that. I’m also thankful Randy Phillips will always be his Daddy’s boy.
Contributor: Jason Carson Wilson
http://www.justcommenting.typepad.com/
